Pure Insanity
by Meghan8
Summary: Hopefully humorous alternate endings to scenes for Crown and Court Duel. A product of my crazy imagination. If you guys like them, tell me, and I'll do some more
1. The Candleholder Incident

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the world in which they live. They belong to he wonderfully talented Sherwood Smith. I'm just messing around with some of the scenes for fun and entertainment. 

A sun seemed to explode behind my eyes. "You've got Bran? _You used me to get my brother?_"

"He's here," the Marquis said, but he didn't get any further.

Giving a wail of sheer rage, plucked a heavy silver candleholder and flung it straight at his head. 

At the last second he ducked. The candleholder smashed through the window. I heard a loud thunk and then a man screaming, "OWWWWW! Not again. Blasted candleholders."

I looked back at the Marquis, my face red with anger. He blinked twice and began to laugh.

Screaming again I charged. He held his arm out and his palm contacted with my forehead. He held me out of reach with one arm, but my arms swung as I tried to give him a good punch. He just kept laughing as a grunted in frustration.

"Mel!," I whirled around to see Bran in the doorway. "What do you think you are doing? That's it, we're getting you anger management therapy!"

Shevraeth, by this point was rolling on the ground with laughter and his eyes were tearing. I kicked him in the shin.

"HEY! What was that for?" he cried, picking himself off the floor.

"For being a mean and a moron! Like you don't know!" I wailed back, exasperated. It was Bran's turn to laugh.

"Mel, calm down. Vidanric's on our side and he's in love with you. Now who's the moron?"

I blushed first and then my embarrassment turned again to anger. I smacked Bran and was tempted to give the Marquis another solid kick.

"Why am I always the last to find anything out?" I whined with the voice of a petulant five-year-old.

"Because," replied Bran, "you never listen. Now we have to make a peace treaty and topple a king. Say you're sorry to Vidanric Mel."

I shot him a menacing look.

"Do it Mel." he ordered

I looked out the window a sullen look on my face and grumbled, "Fine, I'm sorry I tried to brain you with your candleholder."

"I forgive you, I never liked that one anyway, gave me a few nightmares" the marquis drawled in acceptance of my apology. "Come, we must all prepare for dinner."

Bran and the Marquis exited the room. I took a moment to compose myself before the ordeal ahead. 

_Wait, had Bran said Shevraeth loved me?"_

I ran out of the room screaming, "Shevraeth, get back here, NOW!"


	2. Why Do You Hate Me?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the world in which they live. They belong to he wonderfully talented Sherwood Smith. I'm just messing around with some of the scenes for fun and entertainment. 

At Bran and Mel's castle:

"Can you tell me," he asked slowly, "why you still seem to harbor your original resentment against me?"

I rolled my eyes at Shevraeth.

"What you think you can waltz in here all and gorgeous, handsome, smooth and refined and I'll suddenly fall for you? I don't think so. Take a hike blondie."

It was his turn to be exasperated. And then he lost it.

"What is your problem? I've been nothing but nice to you and you rip my head off. I keep telling my cousin and your brother that and they keep telling me 'No Danric, she'll come around, she really does like you, ask the girl out.' You Lady Meliara, are completely nuts! I'm leaving." 

"Fine! Go!" I yelled at him.

He took one last look at me, stamped his foot and stormed out whining "I never get the girl, they either like Russav or they are psycho head cases! I want my mommy!"

Finally left alone in my library I mused to myself "I think somebody needs a longer vacation. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to depose him too."


	3. Mel Makes Vidanric Cry

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the world in which they live. They belong to he wonderfully talented Sherwood Smith. I'm just messing around with some of the scenes for fun and entertainment. 

Mel's first day at Athanarel:

"My dear Countess," Lady Tamara exclaimed. "Why were we not told we would have the felicity of meeting you?"

I quickly told myself not to give away that I had really come to Athanarel to see id Shevraeth or the Marquise of Merindar would be that better ruler.

"Oh, see this trip was last minute. I didn't want to come since I hate our future king and the Marquise of Merindar wants to be queen, I think. I just wanted to see is either could be trusted."  
Oops.

Everyone looked at me in shock. Nee laughed uncomfortably.

"Come Meliara," Nee said, grabbing my hand tp drag me away, "let's go find your brother."

"What about me?" Bran asked as he approached us.

Could this get =any= worse?

Yes it could.

"Danric," the Duke of Savona squeaked as his cousin appeared behind Bran.

"Russav, what's toward?"

"Oh, not much," the Duke replied, "Umm…Lady Meliara was just, umm, informing us about the, umm…..ack."

"The fact that she hates your guts and doesn't want you to be King," Tamara supplied in a jovial voice.

I knew my face was as red as a tomato as Shevraeth turned to me and quietly said, "Meliara, =you= promised."

"I'm sorry!" I said with a sob. "I didn't know what to say. I didn't mean to do it!"

"Oh, boy," Bran cut in with a frown as he threw me over his shoulder. "I'm gonna take my sister back to her rooms, and then we'll deal with this situation…yeah."

As Nee and Bran took me away from the pond, Shevraeth started crying like a baby. "Nothing ever goes my way with that girl!"


	4. PreBattle Problems

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the world in which they live. They belong to he wonderfully talented Sherwood Smith. I'm just messing around with some of the scenes for fun and entertainment. Underline=excerpt 

A/N: I was going to put this at the end, but then I decided that it would help make this funnier. I found an explanation by Sherwood Smith about why Mel was embarrassed to see Shevraeth in just his shirt and boots. His shirt is only like an undershirt and seeing a guy in just that without a tunic equals familiarity and Mel had feelings for him and is embarrassed. He, apparently, was looking too. I find this image funny, so here's goes nothing! 

The morning of the final battle with Galdran:

"Curse it," Bran said the next morning, standing before the fire in shirt and trouser with his shoulder stiffly bandaged. "You think this is necessary?"

He pointed at the mail coats lying on the table, their linked steel rings gleaming coldly in the light of two glow globes. It was well before dawn. The Marquis had woken us himself, with the news that Galdran's forces were neigh. And his messenger had brought form Renselaeus the mail coats, newly made and expensive.

"Treachery--" Shevraeth paused to cough and to catch his breath. He, too, stood there in only shirt trousers and boots, and I looked away quickly, embarrassed. "We should be prepared for treachery. It was his idea to send archers against you in the mountains. He will have them with him now." He coughed again, the rattling cough of a heavy cold. 

"So what?" Bran asked, "Are we doomed to."

"I hope not." the Marquis drawled in reply. I felt his eyes on me.

"Hey!" Bran exclaimed, "Did you just check out my sister?"

"Ummmmmm….no?"

"Oh yes you did. I though I saw you do it before. That's not very court like Danric, checking out a lady when she is basically in her underclothes."

"Shevraeth," I yelled, "What do you think you are doing? I'm not staring at you any more, so you can stop starting at me! What is your problem? I challenge you to a duel."

He just rolled his eyes and sighed. His voice was as cordial as ever "Is this duel before or after we go face down Mister "I'm the Greediest King Ever" because I'd really like to wait. Galdran's a bit of a propriety now."

"Fine!" I yelled back and stalked out of the room. I felt those gray eyes on me again. I whirled around.

"I told you to stop it!"

"I wasn't looking at you!"  
"Were too!"

"Were not!"

Bran cut in with a roar, "Stop it, both of you! Mel go get dressed! Danric, I don't know, go do something foppish, just stop looking at my sister!"

Shevraeth pouted, turned to Bran and said "Was not." 


End file.
